Okay, let's admit it. Karaoke nights are supposed to be fun. Somewhere along the way, though, they turned into a concert. Someone grabs the mic, hits every note, and suddenly the rest of us are just the audience.
But here's the thing: nobody expects you to sing well at karaoke. And honestly? Nobody should expect to hear compliments either.
The non-singer of the family
Every family has one. The person who loves karaoke but can't really sing. In my family, that's me.
When the mic gets passed around, I always feel like I don't really have the right to hold it. Everyone else is belting power ballads like they're auditioning for something, and then it's my turn.
And when I do sing? Crickets. Or worse, everyone suddenly remembers they have something very important to tell each other. Right in the middle of my chorus.
Me, giving it my all. Them, catching up on life. Iconic.
The score was always a joke anyway
If you grew up with videoke, you know the machine never really judged anyone's singing. Your tita shouting through a ballad gets a 98. The actual singer gets a 74. We all knew the score was random, and that was half the fun.
So I thought: what if we stopped pretending? What if karaoke was more fun, and more honest?
So I built Pitch Please
By day (well, by night, after my day job), I'm an AI workflow specialist. I take messy things and make them run smoother. So I built a karaoke app with a little help from AI. Except this one doesn't clap for you. It roasts you.
And here's the twist I love most: it roasts everyone. The best singer in the room gets "Suspiciously good. We're checking for a hidden backing track." The rest of us get "That high note is now a missing person." Suddenly, the diva and the non-singer are on the same level. Everybody's laughing, and nobody's just the audience anymore.
When everyone gets roasted, nobody gets left out.
What it does
- It judges your song choice before you even sing. Picked "I Will Always Love You"? "A power ballad. Bold move for someone with your lungs."
- It knows whose turn it is. Type everyone's names once, then just tap a name to queue their song. The screen shows who's up next, even mid-song. No more "kanino 'tong kanta?"
- It plays the song right on the screen, from a songbook of over 200 karaoke favorites, from OPM classics to Adele. Can't decide? Hit "Surprise me" and let the app pick for you. Bahala na si Batman.
- It dares you mid-song. "Sing the next chorus like a telenovela villain." You have to. Those are the rules.
- It scores you and roasts you, with a drumroll for maximum suspense.
- It remembers everything. Second Mariah song of the night? It noticed. Sang the same song as your cousin and scored lower? It noticed that too.
- It gives you a roast card to share, so your humiliation can reach a wider audience.
- It hands out Night Awards at the end, like "Bravest Soul" for the lowest score of the night. (Hello, it's me.)
- Roast me in English or Taglish. Switch to Taglish for the Pinoy version, Tita Mode included: everyone gets a perfect score, followed by "Kailan ka mag-aasawa?"
🎤 "We clapped. Mostly because it ended."
🎤 "Kayo ng kanta, parang situationship. Walang nag-commit."
🎤 "Ang taas ng pangarap mo, ang baba ng boses mo."
…and about 400 more where those came from
Hosting a karaoke night? Try it!
It's free, it works on your laptop, TV or phone, and there's nothing to download. Add your names, pick your songs, and let the judging begin.
Open Pitch Please →Tell me your worst roast!
I'd genuinely love to hear how your karaoke night goes. Which roast made everyone scream? Which one fell flat? Is there a song you wish was in the songbook? Tell me and I'll add it.
And if it made your night, you can buy the roaster a coffee. I'll stay mean, but I'll be grateful.
See you at the next karaoke night. I'll be the one getting roasted. 🎤